I am beyond frustrated at the moment.
I seem to have entered a vicious cycle of illness and frustration.
Being ill is frustrating for anybody, it ruins your day and plans, it's so much more frustrating when you just don't know what is wrong. Even more when you seem to be ill forever!
I can't honestly remember the last time I felt well.
I'm that used to my funny turns since I get them every single time i'm up in my chair, that I can now just soldier through. Well I could, they seem to be getting worse, 3 hours in my chair and it's almost impossible to sit up, hence why my week with yummers consisted of so many films and why my uni attendance has sucked.
Then there's the crazy stomach pains I've been having for months, which has gone from IBS to me needing surgery, hopefully it will be taken care of after I've had the surgery, fingers crossed!! Hopefully the pain will be gone and I can sack off a medication, and it might be these pains that are aggravating my funny spells. Vicious cycle number 1.
Vicious cycle number 2, is a reoccurring pressure sore on my leg which is the bain of my life! every thing about life irritates it, and me! Clothes rub, sitting, lying causes pressure, moving causes friction. Then it heals and a few weeks later it's back because moving causes friction and clothes rub, but I can't not wear clothes, I can't not move, I have a very active life, and far to many gorgeous clothes. I try to be good, sit with my leg up on pillows, stay in bed.
But I want to go to uni, I want to go out and see people, I know nurses reading this would tell me off, but I need a life. I need times were i'm not reminded every two seconds that i'm disabled. I need to complain about my mum, gossip about boys, stress about uni assignments, be a 22 year old. Not feel like a 80 year old, feeling, having a different crappy feeling that I can't explain or diagnose, because even being ill is different when your disabled.
bluuuuurgh, times can be soooo annoying sometimes
Isn't it funny how when ill one thought spirals :)
This is why ima stop here or I will end up putting myself into some crazy depression, one of those why me, i'm the only person in the world to ever be ill kind of depressions.