I had a meeting today with the company that look after my care.
I normally really dont mind these meetings as i was lucky enough for most parts to have someone that knew me in hospital. But recently i have someone else looking after me.
As i haven't met this lady before she came armed with questions. I already wasn't in the greatest of moods as i didnt get much sleep, and i dont really like that i have to describe over and over how i live my life. & feel like i have to give them a "bed time" im in a wheelchair not 5. I get that the PA's need a outline of my "routines" but the whole point of having live in care is that they work around your lifestyle, as long as it with in the means of the PA agreement, which is a very fair agreement.
I really dont have any complaints about my care, the past 2years have been really smooth, and i've met PA's id genuinely call friends.
But i just feel i have no private life sometimes which can be really frustrating.
I can't have a bad day and just be on my own, or have a argument/discussion without feeling like the worlds listening in.
Or feeling like my life is being judged, i know it never is, but sometimes you just cant help but feel that way. Its probably insecurity that a lot have, but if you imagine having to have how you live written in a manual for all to see, it does get you thinking.
I have had trouble with my blood pressure recently so have been in bed. Instead of feeling like im doing the right thing i was just worried that everyone thought i was being lazy.
I do try & put these insecurities out of my mind, but it can be difficult, especially when its brought to my attention.