Wednesday, 23 March 2011

Identity

We managed to diagnose me yesterday. I have mentioned before that since leaving hospital i keep having funny turns. Everyone suspected an underlying infection. But after spending the weekend in bed, due to having no car, and feeling fine, i thought my funny turns were over. Then i got up Tuesday for college. By the time i got home i was red, boiling to the touch, sweaty & cold. Turns out having my foot on my foot plate is making me AD. The pressure's hurting me, and because i can't feel it my blood pressure goes up and i go funny. Not fun! But at least we know why now.


I had a rubbish night last night!  I was soooo hot, it was really annoying because i was very tired. But i did get the chance to catch up with sky+.


I watched Katie: my beautiful friends. It was really good! I had a massive confidence low after my accident, and still do at times. I went from being a "normal" teenager, yes i was tall, overweight and i had big boobs, but i knew how to work it. Then all of a sudden i had this great big new accessory, and i couldn't hold my own body properly, i didn't know how clothes fit me. I think what bothered me the most though was that i was going to be given the label disabled. At my school anyone that was disabled were all sat at one table at lunch & break, they were sat at the edge of the class away from everyone. It felt like we couldn't talk to them because they were different. Also i know it sounds bad but when i thought of a disabled person, i thought of someone that wasn't all there, and i know that a lot of other people do to. I was so scared that people would see me like that. I completely felt like i had lost my identity. I wasn't as interested in going out and getting drunk anymore. I found it very difficult to get back into education, I didn't see the future i had had planned ever happening.


Im deff getting my identity back, not just my old one, but a brand new one, that im proud of!


I know believe in going with the flow, my whole life doesn't need to be planed.
I have discovered a passion for film.
Yes i have difficulty doing almost anything but im still going to do it. So my determinations grown immensely!
Im very much still a VERY opinionated person, that stands by them! I challenge anyone to a debate.
I am strong & confident in myself & my beliefs.
My accident made me so appreciative of all my family and friends.
I can be bossy, but this makes me a good leader.
I am pretty impatient though, which i am trying to work on, but we all have our faults...

No comments:

Post a Comment

Thankyou :)
I tend to always comment back here, so pop back for a replay =D
Love & Kisses